Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Opening to what is already always here.. the end of seeking for well being

The search for freedom, it can be a long and arduous road indeed. Most of us are sold a bill of goods from the time we are very young about what we need to "do" to have a happy and fulfilled life. My story was something like this, go to school and get good grades, go to college, get a career making a lot of money, buy a house and find a man, then you'll be happy. 

I've spent a lot of time and energy seeking fulfillment, chasing after my dream, accomplishing and achieving, making money and seeking acknowledgment from those I respected. Of course sometimes it came and other times not so much, what became more and more clear was that I could not create a lasting fulfillment and well being for myself. I was not free, I was in deep bondage, I was seeking my well being in relationships, substances, experiences, acquiring, education and it was spotty at best. Being on the search for fulfillment, thinking that it is "out there" and "only in these circumstances and not in others" is exhausting and endless! That's the "search" that goes on forever because there is no end to the seeking, there is always more to seek and never a finding that really lasts. All relationships change over time, careers change, totally fulfilling experiences change, what was at one time satisfying can become boring, no matter how much money, education, acknowledgment you get there is something in us that is insatiable, always wants more or different so the seeking never ends.. 

In the midst of this very ambitious drive to squeeze all the vibrancy out of life that I could, I also thankfully had this spiritual thirst wake up in me. As a child I felt very connected to life, guided, inspired, very alive inside of myself. This still small voice inside of me started whispering to me, reminding me of this rich resource that later I discovered within my very own being. Many years later I am still discovering this endless supply of brilliant aliveness that is actually the life that I am. The animating life force that is this life called JoAnne, it's me, I'm the one I've been looking for. 

It's been an amazing discovery that I don't have to look for what I already am, I'm already that! I've just been asleep to this open intelligence that is within me and in awakening to this clarity that I am, the search for well being is over. 

What if this total freedom and well being is right here right now and all one has to "do" is to relax and let everything be as it is. No need to avoid or indulge any particular thoughts, feelings or experiences, rather we can just relax as awareness and let it all be. In that relaxation we can open up to the fullness that we already are.  This is "the work" to develop a daily practice of taking short moments to simply rest and remember, to find my center and then to live from this place of clarity and well being.  

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