Monday, December 7, 2009

React or Respond?

full abandon
surrender to it fully
no resistance to what's here
had to know...

what is so?
what's true? what's real?
we are so obsessed with the trivial
if I desire... desire
if I want... want
be with what is here..

ask what do i want? why?
go with it in inquiry... go for the ride... in inquiry
see where it takes you..

if you seem to have a choice
take it.. the backwards step within...
either that or you follow the mind... into the story
into the insanity, reactivity, crazymaking...

liberation is a question away..
what is true? what is real?
this dissolves the story, the drama, the illusion

this is the practice.. sit down and ask yourself
what do I know to be true about this situation?
Let the question take you deep into yourself,
out of the conditioned mind, into reality...

If you are ready to take a leap into truth...
If you want liberation from the stories that have
been running your life for as long as you can remember...
If you can YES I am committed to the deepest level of self support
I am available for private sessions to assist and invite
you to move from reactivity to response in all areas of your life..

You can contact me at to schedule a call.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hello me...

There is a daily question I've had several teachers suggest I ask several times a day...
What do I really want? or How does spirit really want to express here?
I've been told to ask it on awakening and before bed, as I pause throughout the day whenever I feel frustrated, overwhelmed, reactive..
My teacher Neelam says ask only one question.. am I in the past? (conditioning, mind, reactivity) or am I Present? Am I here now?
or I am caught up in a story of what's wrong and how it should be different, letting my mind whip me around like a dog on a leash.

So like today when I arranged for childcare, drove 20 min for an appointment, found out I could not meet with the person, got frustrated and got sucked into a story about blame, inconvenience and how this should not be.
Right then I could ask myself.. What do I really want right now? I think what I want in that moment is a certain outcome, a certain circumstance, then I can rest and be peaceful.
If I believe that I need a certain outcome to be happy, peaceful, calm, then truly I am lost,
for life has it's own agenda and things often do not go as I wish they would.

Whenever I see someone doing something that gets my attention.. someone driving slowly or badly, someone behaving selfishly, doing something cruel or hurtful, a parent not tuned into or present for their child offering support and love, anything at all that I might judge.. I can instead ask myself, What do I want here?

Do I want to feel better than, justified, right? Than I can judge, lash out, label that person, separate myself from them, create distance, make up a story about them, believe it.

If I want to feel unity, compassion, love...

Then I can ask myself ... have I done that? ever? can I find that in me? usually it's always yes...
and then I notice I soften, judgment falls away, the illusion of separation melts, I feel connected, oneness, love... yes this is what I want!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A healing?

Two nights ago I had a session with an energy/body worker/masseuse, I was not sure what exactly he did but my friends were raving and one offered to treat me to a session, so I went. During the session I found myself praying, alot. God please help me to let go of whatever is blocking me from feeling your love and grace and keeping me stuck in reaction and resistance, please... help me surrender at the deepest level... please.. whatever is in the way of a more consistent "resting in presence" that seems to velcro me to the story of "other" and "this should be different" please let it release... now...

The only "bad" thing about moving deeper and deeper into a realization of this amazing grace and unity awareness is when suddenly it is forgotten, traded in for a story.. of me, you, them, separation, violation, hurt and suffering. That's pretty much what's been happening for the last month.. it's been dark let me tell ya..

Lucky for me, I am surrounded by grace even when it seems I'm not, an angel came to me several times in the last month in the midst of my lowest moments to remind me of the totality of who I REALLY AM, which incredibly does not seem helpful in the moment to the one who wants to play small, sit in self pity and at all costs keep the story of pain and violation going.
It's extraordinary really but I guess it's why baby elephants tied to small posts and grow to be enormous but don't seem to realize that the can easily pull out the small posts later in life and why prisoners when freed so often return to prison. It's a paradox of how this story of smallness and separation is so compelling, you'd think (haha) that someone who has directly experienced "reality", expansion, totality, this that I AM, no mind, more than a hundred times could never "forget" again.... but alas it happens....

So.. last Sunday I am sitting with my best friend (who I grow to love more dearly everyday) and she is trying desperately to shine the light on me as I sit in such darkness and somehow I can't see that she is even trying to shine the light because the story my mind is telling me is that she is criticizing me, finding fault and the pain is so great to the spiritual image I've created it is all I can do to not run away and I did try by the way but something keeps bring me back, grace I suppose?

So after a month or so of feeling squished into the little container called "me" there is an expansion ... deep breath... awareness seems to stretch out it's legs and there is this realization of

In this moment clarity has returned and it is so apparent that more of the ego, self protectiveness, false pride, spiritual image is just eroding away.. well it felt more like dynamited away in the moment, but only because there is such a clinging to it..

What I notice is that there is expansion, peace, unity, love, tenderness, awareness is known both as this expression of JoAnne as well as every other being I see and the clouds, ocean and birds.. AND there is reactivity, contraction, stories that run and a feeling of hopelessness that seems to take over for periods of time.. and when that happens I can pray, ask for help, ask for clarity, ask truth to reveal itself, spend more time in quiet, breathe, relax and be still ... over and over again..

Friday, October 16, 2009

Spiritual Evolution in our day to day lives...

This years theme at Burning Man was Evolution..
I had a great time going through the Burning Man website and talking with my kids about
Evolution, Darwin, natural selection and how as a species we are evolving and how we are not ....

Recently I listened to a talk about and the speaker talked about how to live an evolutionary life.. he said we had to be willing to live in ....
Profound Receptivity & Radical Uncertainty.

I've been meditating on this and inquiring deeply on these ...

What is profound receptivity?
-saying yes to what is..
-non resistance to what is happening...
-non judgment

Eckhart Tolle says these are the expressions of Enlightenment..
non reaction, non judgment, non resistance...

It is stepping soundly into the experience of discovery and curiosity..

Saying yes to radical uncertainty....

I hear myself saying many times each day..
truthfully I have no idea... really I don't know...

there is a deep noticing that the spiritual agenda is in direct opposition
to the agenda of the ego... to stay safe and secure, play small, don't risk,
stay in the known, certainty, focus on me, me, me.. very primitive survival stuff..

There is a daily commitment to :
-letting go of the habit of blaming and stepping into radical self responsibility
-letting go of small short term seeing and opening to larger long term visioning
-moving from being driven by personal petty fears and desires to being moved from higher aspirations
-focusing on serving the greater good rather than on self
-being more interested in expansion and discovering the unknown than in staying in what's familiar
letting go of the habit of wanting to feel safe and secure to embracing insecurity as the source of vitality and aliveness
-evolve, change, expand and grow daily as we stay open to infinite possibilities

Are you asking yourself daily where you are in this evolution?
Is your life inspiring others in their own evolution?