Seeing clearly that this habit of blaming others or even telling myself that something is wrong and it needs to change in order for me to be happy, making my well being dependent on anything that changes like the weather... is really a formula for unhappiness. Clearly focusing on what is wrong with others, wrong with the world, wrong with me, wrong period creates for a miserable life.. Forgetting that well being is available here and now as i rest in openness, relax and let things be as they are results in a life of endless seeking.. this experience will make me happy, this relationship, this job, having a baby... but if i am not aware of the fundamental well being that is underneath all the descriptions of what i am.. then i am always looking for it..
Like a fish looking for water.. silly when you finally see it..
When I am finally able to take 100% responsibility for my own well being, i can stop blaming others for somehow denying me whatever i need to be happy. If only they'd love me more, treat me better, show up this way of that, take care of me, make me feel special, fulfilled.. whatever...
Suddenly "they" are off the hook and instead of criticizing them for not playing the role i've assigned... i can see others in a clear way .... instead of running the story of what i am not getting, i shift to realizing that my true nature is to be of benefit.. to myself and others.. in this natural expression of spontaneous benefit, I'm able to flow gratitude and appreciation rather than expectation and disappointment.. then I'm free!!
When i focus on what I appreciate about in others, especially the one's who I am the most challenged by.. those I've judged the most, been the most hurt by, had the greatest expectations of, seen the least, had the biggest stories about.. my heart is suddenly full where i thought there was lack and heartache. Flowing appreciation is the natural expression of fullness and well being.. it's a bonus that it feels awesome.
So I have a choice.. moment to moment.. I can come to know myself and others as the expression of awareness, what is always here, well being itself, whole complete and perfect by nature. I can choose to rest as this open spacious awareness as often as i remember and relax. This is where clarity comes from.. this restful space, this is the peace that passeth understanding.. stability that underlies all that comes and goes.. all appearance.. the ground of being..
We all have this choice, whether we realize it or not.. we can listen to the stream of thoughts and feelings, living at the whim of our data stream.. seeking forever this scenario or that... or we can rest for a moment as the openness that we are.. come back to ourselves, relax and take it easy the AA book says.. we don't struggle.... pause... keep coming back to ourselves.. to our true nature, to reality. Remember Remember Remember...