Friday, August 9, 2013

What do you want most for your kids and how to help them get it?

Children (and adults) get asked often, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" But how often to we ask ourselves in a sincere and contemplative way, what do I really want in my life? What kind of person do I want to be, how do I want to be remembered, what do I want my life to stand for, what are my core values
I remember taking a class in Non Violent Communication when my first son was very young. They asked our group to speak out our core values and when we had a big list compiled, we were asked to identify what behaviors we had (with our children) that reflected these core values. It was eye opening to say the least. 

Later I read a book by Wayne Dyer called What Do You Really Want for Your Children?  In this book he interviewed thousands of people and asked this question and presents the most common responses. He then goes into great detail what specific behaviors, attitudes and outlooks are most likely to contribute to these outcomes and which behaviors and attitudes will bring about the opposite results. 

These are awareness exercises that are intended to make one more conscious of what we are modeling for our kids, are we walking our talk, are our behaviors aligned with our values and are we truly helping our children to learn that they have this incredible capacity naturally to enjoy life whatever the circumstances may be by modeling it ourselves. 
Focusing on what you really want may be less about achieving or accomplishing a certain goal or status, it may be less about how you look or what you have which can bring satisfaction for a time. There is nothing wrong with goals but I'm speaking here about modeling sovereignty, to have freedom from suffering and in touch with your innate well being and natural contentment in all of life's experiences. 

 Discovering your Sovereignty, finding your Center, your True Empowered Essential Self is at the core of becoming conscious, aware, present and shifting out of reactivity. Presence is our true nature, when we recognize that we know we have a choice, we are empowered, we have discernment and we naturally live and move from our center rather than from reactivity and feeling victimized by life. This is what I want most for my kids and what I strive to model for them. 

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