an expression of perfection..

I was listening to a friend recently ... going on and on describing himself, I'm this, I'm that... mostly I noticed a focus on negativity, the age old past time of judging oneself, such fun!!

It's an easy habit to fall into.. this pervasive addiction to what's wrong, what's bad, what's broken. It's no surprise really, most of us are programed from very young that we are fundamentally flawed, we have to effort and strive to be "good", "enough", we have to achieve and accomplish and no matter what, it's never enough, I'm not enough, you are not enough.

See the theme here, looking for satisfaction "out there", in the doing, in the mind or in our experiences.. we never find it, maybe for 5 minutes, but then we want something else and are off again on another quest for the holy grail, whatever we think will do it.. a relationship, a degree, a baby, a fat bank account, a big house, retirement, it goes on and on..

So what to do.. all of these "thoughts" arise, this is good, this is bad, it's an automatic sorter, whatever arises, it is sorted and categorized at lightening speed. Focusing and emphasizing on the "descriptions" is the formula for the roller coaster ride for sure! Up and down forever.. it's good, it's bad, lack/ abundance, health sickness, it all arises, happy/ sad and on and on..

Developing this practice of noticing what's noticing.. what is aware of all of this? What is not affected by all that arises and flows on by? What is stable? What is constant?

It is sort of like an actor that can play many roles, one day a villain, the next day a hero.. endless labels and ways to describe the expression. No matter what role the actor plays however, he is still the actor, he is never the character, even if he forgets and thinks for a moment that he is the character, he never is. This is how it is with us, we forget our essence for a moment, getting all caught up and tangled in a label or description, we think we are the character but we aren't. We are the actor whether we remember it or not, we are always the actor, we can't not be what we fundamentally are.

As the actor, as awareness, as what's looking, what always is, we are fundamentally well, stable, whole, complete unto ourselves, perfect. Awareness is not affected at all by the parade of what comes and goes, much like a mirror is not affected by the image it reflects, or the movie screen is not affected by the movie, comedy or tragedy, cartoon or thriller, the screen is not impacted one bit, it remains completely as it is, untouched. Despite this - seemingly we've forgotten this basic well being that we are, we have trained ourselves to believe that thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences are separate from awareness as opposed to simply the expression of this innate perfection. By the practice of recognition, just simply noticing awareness, clarity, we come to remember that this is what we actually are, rather than a stream of endless descriptions. This is what we are, an expression of perfection.. always an expression of perfection.. always... remember?